top of page
The Origin
The ideas that eventually became The Marriage Mates™ did not appear suddenly. They developed through observation, reflection, and a series of questions about the world young people are growing into.
Everything has a beginning. This is where The Marriage Mates™ began.
The video below is the original VirginQuest™ promotional piece, produced over a decade ago.
Although this video was created over a decade ago, the concerns it raises remain present today. The challenges surrounding relationships, preparation, discipline, and the long-term consequences of personal decisions continue to impact individuals, families, and communities.
VirginQuest™: Where This Work Began
More than a decade ago, I owned and operated a telecommunications company, and many of my customers were childcare centers and daycare facilities. During visits, I would often arrive early and find myself sitting in the hallway waiting to meet with Ms. Sarah Hansford, Executive Director of EOCDC, whose memory I honor and respectfully acknowledge.
While waiting one day, I watched a group of young children preparing to go outside for recess. Some of them were excited, smiling and eager to get outside and play with their friends. It reminded me of my own childhood — the anticipation of going outside after sitting in class, and the friendships that made those moments enjoyable.
But I also noticed that a few of the children looked nervous about going outside. I can imagine that the classroom felt like a safe place for them, while the playground carried a sense of uncertainty. Watching them made me smile, because young people often face those small fears and eventually overcome them. In many ways, they are remarkably resilient.
In that same moment, another thought came to mind: What kind of world are we creating for these young people?
At the time, my wife and I were raising children of our own, and as they approached junior high school, that question became even more personal. I began thinking about the environment they would inherit and the pressures they would face as they grew older.
That reflection eventually led to an initiative I started nearly ten years ago called VirginQuest™.
In speaking with others, I also recognized the social pressure many young people face. Some individuals who had already lost their virginity were encouraging others to do the same, often normalizing decisions with long-term consequences. I wanted to create a space where those who chose to wait could feel supported rather than isolated.
VirginQuest™ was an attempt to encourage young people to protect their future by preserving their virginity until marriage. The goal was not simply restraint, but protection — giving individuals time to develop maturity, direction, and purpose before entering relationships that would shape their lives permanently.
I created the organization, produced the promotional video you see here, and began sharing the idea publicly. But at the time, I did not yet understand how to grow it into a larger movement where young people could support one another and take responsibility for protecting their future.
Looking back now, I also recognize that many of today’s tools did not exist then. Today’s AI tools, content platforms, and community-building technology did not exist then. Ideas had to find their audiences through channels and timelines that no longer apply.
As a result, VirginQuest™ never developed into the kind of organized community I had originally imagined.
In speaking with others, I also learned about the social pressure many young people face. Some individuals who had already lost their virginity were encouraging others to do the same, often normalizing decisions that carry long-term consequences. I wanted to create a space where young people who had chosen to wait could feel supported rather than isolated.
As those conversations continued, another question emerged.
If someone chooses to guard their virginity, how long should they be expected to do so?
Eventually, the answer became clear to me. The issue was not simply about abstinence. The larger issue was how people approached dating itself. Without structure or intentional conversations, many relationships naturally drift toward intimacy before individuals have taken the time to determine whether they are truly compatible.
That realization planted the idea that would later become The Marriage Mates™.
I began to think about a framework that could help individuals move from “Yes, I’m Single” to “I Do” with clarity and intention. Instead of what I call Pretentional Dating™ — where people move through relationships without direction — the goal would be Intentional Dating, where each step brings individuals closer to determining whether marriage is the right decision.
At that time, I planned to write a book explaining that process. But like many ideas, it remained unfinished as I became absorbed in running my business and managing other responsibilities.
Then about a year and a half ago, something happened that brought the idea back into focus.
I met a young woman who had recently come out of a long relationship — and who has since become a friend. She spoke openly about her experiences, and as she described the relationship, it became clear that she had recognized several warning signs early on but chose to ignore them.
The relationship lasted three and a half years before it ended.
Three and a half years is a significant amount of time — nearly the length of a college degree. Listening to her story, I found myself thinking about the book I had once planned to write. If that framework had existed at the time, she would have recognized those warning signs earlier and spared herself years in a relationship that was not right for her.
That conversation became the moment I finally decided to write the book.
And that decision eventually led to The Marriage Mates™.
In many ways, this book is written for our children — and for the generations that follow them.
Looking back, the questions that first surfaced years ago during the VirginQuest™ initiative have not disappeared. If anything, the need for clarity, preparation, and intentional decision-making in relationships has become even more apparent. The Marriage Mates™ is my effort to provide a framework that helps individuals move through that process with greater understanding and purpose.
The Marriage Mates™
The ideas that began with VirginQuest™ eventually developed into The Marriage Mates™ Framework — the complete framework presented in the book, the workbook, and the digital workbook.
ONE FRAMEWORK. THREE TOOLS.
The Book
— “Gives you the framework.”
The Workbook
— “Puts the framework to work.”
The Digital Workbook
— “Gives the framework technology.”
bottom of page